See you soon, I love you, son (D35: sovereignty of humility)

Sunday, 21 July 2019

Not intending for this to be a journal… NO!!! But, indeed this is the appropriate day to blog the following:

Last night I was reminded of why I blog. It is because I care give (at times and in long stretches) for family members (my twin brother and my youngest son) with mental illnesses. I do not bring this insight about my life up ever because I would never want to dishonor my family members with such a stigmatic personification. I am not ashamed, just respectful of their privacy. I confess, it is because of them that I blog. They depend on my mental strength for their mental wellness (not that I’m their savior…. nooooo…)

It has been a very short 10-11 months that I have seen them both take ownership in their mental wellness, become motivated to change their response behaviors,  the desire to work with others and with their hands, and especially start ‘living’. I have seen both of their character traits developing skills that allow them to rationalize thoughts and process them with positive solutions.   And, isn’t this the goal of every person involved with a person with mental disabilities? For their loved one to be self sufficient?

As things calmed down this past year, I relaxed a bit and thought the blog should go in a direction that suited my Christian faith better. I do not apologize for my Christian faith, only I am humbled yet again by what happened in the last 48-72 hours.

The small population of the mentally ill rely on the even smaller population willing to help them. So, last night, I found myself, yet again, telling my son “See you soon. I love you, son – you’re strong!! I believe in you!!!!,” as he was returning to a psychiatric crisis unit.

Of course I began to evaluate my present blog. I was suppose to be the ‘answer’ for him, but I wasn’t. So, I didn’t criticize myself (false humility), instead I evaluated what I was attaching the blog to and woke up to this: Godly characters foster Spiritual wholeness and mental wellness, especially for those in mental health support services. 

The characters God designed to prosper us actually do prosper us, it’s just sometimes we put a dollar figure in the word prosper (like this: pro$per) and overlook the spiritual and mental victories that are actually being referenced.

Spiritual victories are not just for ourselves, they are meant for the good of others just as much. We are great owners of our relationships when we give and receive constructive words that are encouraging, loving, understanding, though sometimes firm, but always affirming. And isn’t that what life is about? Relationships that grow us as individuals? Relationships that make us happy? God loves for humans to live harmoniously happy. Does He not?

God is relational at His sovereign core, He mirrored that aspect of His majesty in us to teach and develop Oneness, exactly like the beautiful prayer Jesus prayed in John 17. 

My point? I did not foresee the last few days happening, but I prepared months in advance by conditioning my emotions to restrain fear and anger. It didn’t happen over night and there are still a few days here and there that I have a moment that triggers anxieties and fears, but today I know my son’s mental condition relies on me to be level headed and have an action plan in place, otherwise a repeat of last year could happen.

The last thing I want to share is this: For the first time ever, today, the morning after a mental crisis, I am not exhausted. I have great hope and look forward to seeing my son’s goals reached. Today I know he is in pursuit of that, even if treatment has to be a step in the process. I take ownership of my part in the process. I will remain faithful.

So? Today’s challenge? BE humbled by your position as a steward of every relationship you have. Own the humility found in you that clarifies your purpose for that relationship.

If you’re a care giver, be humbled by your position as a steward of your relationship. Your service is greatly, greatly appreciated by your loved one even when they cannot express it. Though it might feel like you are being taken advantage of, or you might be at the end of your rope, STAY humbled by the fact that God obviously knew you were the strongest choice when it came to that person’s success.

And, with that? That’s why I continue to blog a daily character challenge.

My sincerest regards – W

Sovereignty fosters Humility

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